I hardly say such things…

because i know people / friends will not be here forever.

But really thankful for the new people who came into my life, and sometimes i wonder how do they trust me so much… a part of my feel honored to be let into their personal life while another part of me wonders hows our ending like… or will we still stay as friends? I’ve been very close to alot of people before, to the extend of well.. all the very personal things, its strange that i am always that ONE person who knows everything. Which, when things happen, i am the one where their friends tend to look for.

Coincidentally, both initials are JT. And very coincidentally, my intial can be JT too. Was it really fate that brought us together? And coincidentally, both thought i was their age. I never really age.. did i..

I’ve been their pillar of support, probably its really karma / pay back my debts time of 6 months, because both have been there for me before, during my most down period, where nobody seems to understand why i cried so mad. Both are different events that happened to me. And coincidentally, i know what both of them are going through and i could anticipate their next action. And i am too prepared for it.

Will has been trying to sound me out which he felt that i didnt tell KB the whole story. Perhaps just a quarter. Everytime i felt like my tears are going to jump out of my eyes, he gave me the look and asked ‘Do you want the drink and let it knock you out?’ He rather i grab a sleep than to cry to sleep although he offered his shoulders already and legs, since i used to like to lie on his legs. Squash his legs.

I just feel that, say already also like that….

***

I asked the bro for the shoes i want as well. Since he’s already here.. dont waste mah.

He didnt like the gold sneaks, he’s very sure i will wear my gold watch without fail, which….. he found another design for me…

AND IT HAS MY SIZE.

Then we were discussing about money.

After the shoes, i am broke.

He didnt say do not buy though. He very calmly told me to wait for 10minutes while he search through his directory.

Asked him about MMM and this acne studio… and he rather i buy acne, just because he prefer shoes than other things. If i ask Jam, Jam would prefer MMM, and if i ask Max, he will prefer the shoes as well.

Will.

When you are home. You cant lie.

That face of yours.

Do you have to be so down.

I am here and you can tell me.

Do you need to go anywhere.

***

When its all in fullstop. I know he’s serious.

But ugh.

I feel like a seaweed. Max will know what i mean. Except he couldnt take time off.

Will.

He finally showed up and sent me home.

Because i drank. It was not alot. Thank goodness that place dont sell ciroc, he was relieved.

Not that i will faint halfway, since the gurkhas are still here plus 1. Another is not a trained soldier but he took care of many spoilt brats before. Which, i am not at all spoilt according to him. Which spoilt brat does her own laundry. Exactly.

Will is a little worried that i agreed to go for the tests at night. But i rather go now than next time?? In other segments, i passed with flying colours but when comes to saving people… Oh well… I cannot take it. I had to. When i see how the families’ faces are, and i could read their emotions i just couldnt.

Jam came awhile, but realised i had company so he left. Will waited till the gf left me. Both him and Max do that alot. I wont faint on the streets but they rather see me home since i drank a little. Funny question was, why didnt i had lychee margarita. I was too lazy to ask.

Its 1st July tomorrow.. Means i am starting work-work.. Almost.

And its strange.. Something strange. I have 5 channels open officially… So.. Does the last one belong to the 4th human brother? There were no existing conversation. Because it cant be V at all. He’s way too far. Level too high. He’s more than a master than a brother. Altho he’s damm smart.

Its strange sitting in the bus with Will. He prefers to walk than the bus. But my bag is too heavy, with the cider. He was so annoyed that i bought it.

It will be good if they accompany me to work tomorrow. I am on a whiner mode now. Thank god i have 4 brothers.

Feast.

Thankful for the last minute feast.

Max knows me best.

Like that how to find boyfriend.

Waulau.

Actually. I am thinking how does Max even know…

Its not about the restaurants but the food.

他想的太齊全了。

字條。

The drama didnt end.

Neither did i think the friends will give up easily. The conversations are all logged now. And any messages that comes in / goes out have to be verified.

Talk about security. *gulps*

The last time i couldnt detect anything was as long as a month. But the other time i was also going through the breakup so one lesser thing is good. Now… I am so not used to it.

Until the gurkhas realised why, after tallying the scores, my average open channels are about >56. We looked at each other in shock. Wow. Really.

No wonder i feel i am always working. 24hrs on standby lol.

Since the friends couldnt get into any decent conversation, including zongen (lol) he was asked to try. But was stopped after 1 greeting too.

Somehow i can feel what the gurkhas are thinking. The brothers had the same thought too – where does all these people come from!?

But they are not allowed to ask anything except to carry out orders. And nobody is allowed near me. Except the brothers. And i discovered 5 of us have a secret ‘tattoo’ ! (For identification purposes) – now i know.

I am leading a very fantasy life… Reminds me of the rich who has private jets but BL might remind me that i have it too. But i only used it once, maybe its not even mine!

Other than 2 gurkhas, there’s a new being who join the crew. I think i am more open to strangers now? Otherwise. Do not come near me!

Or probably its because of the seriousness of the whole matter. But how long are they going to restrict the communication? So. No need go temple or anywhere liao. Even the pics sent by M.H – i cant even detect anything.

I want to keep the channelling but i dont want the status. #canornot

PS: The gurkhas are fond of me just because i am daring enough. What kind of like is that! (But i secretly think surely there’s a way to make them open up.)

Stoning together with the gurkhas

Everything is put to a stop.

Feeling like meh and have to go to work is ultra meh.

It feels a little zen that there is no existing communication.

I am not used to it.

The gurkhas part 3

Told them that i miss my brothers. They havent been near me since the gurkhas came into the picture.

Every guard i have will have something to say whenever i said that.

While the gurkhas, they assured me that the brothers were here while i was asleep.

WHILE I WAS ASLEEP?!

They didnt feel it was odd though.

(I can see they are fond of me already)

Hahahahaha!

The brothers told the gurkhas since they are with me, they can 放一百个心。

 

The gurkhas part 2

They are so protective of me.

Its different from the brothers.

The kpo friends came to find me last night. And they didnt notice the gurkhas until…. as usual, they like to make fun of me.. but i guessed they didnt have any chance last night.

I was asked about the license of having the gurkhas, then only to explain that well they arent mine. Or perhaps mine for x days. They will leave when i am better.

I am still at the stage of ‘i dont want’ instead of ‘i am fine’.

I just cannot take it that i have er. too many privileges. Ignorant people will feel so happy to have all these. I am aware of what i have, what kind of weapons i have, how the deities make sure i am okay – all these are just for ONE (complicated) reason.

WHICH IS,

I DONT WANT!

And i dont think i will come in terms with it. Nooooooooooooooooo.

I want to remain young and ignorant. Hahahahaa. But i am near the age. I still tear a couple here and there. And i cant think of where to go after work today. I only feel like going back to the house (not mine) to sit and chill. Ideal place will be K’s place, except i dont know the way. Chill until next morning then go work. Chill with orange juice and stare into the water. He lives near a lake. And stone.

And last night, they didnt allow me to drink any form of alcohol, not even a sip. To wait after Sept to drink is too long.

The gurkhas

They are the coolest generals i ever knew in my whole life.

They are so stern and no expressions at all. And they dont talk. Except with their swords.

There were some spirits who try to get close to me and they were blocked, in a very swift movement.

Actually, there are so many things i want to say, but they would rather remain as what people think of them. So…

In 1 sentence – they are the most gentle people i ever knew, brothers not included, because they are all along very giving towards me.

***

I must be very privileged to have them… this is their first time on earth… and they have never taken care of humans before, much less to well.. ok i cant say where i brought them to, only 4th korkor knows. Its strange that he can really know everything. Its amazing of how much information is out.

Its both of our first encounter with each other. I’ve never met generals like them before. So specially trained… Perhaps i am the first who dared to bring them to such places… and to ask them to do things like that…

Its called take a chance, dont ask and you might never know. MM taught me that, logical in a way.

***

Anyway i told 4th korkor in the end, just like what William had said it at noon, after hounding me about it. Its either 4 of them or just 1 korkor.

Well…. Roll eyes.

I should sleep now since i didnt sleep yesterday.

Sounding out..

Me. Obviously i cant hide anything from Max.

Max: Why do you have generals with you.

Me: .

Max: These are DY’s generals. Specially trained. And very experienced.

Me: .

Max: Something major happened last night.

Me: dont bother to check. I’ve blocked everything. And used grandma’s beads.

Max: the beads are special equipments.

Me: I know. I used it last night.

Max: … You block me? Even me?

Me: Yes.

Me: DY have access because..

Max: Its what happened when you are younger isnt it!

Me: Thus, he sent 2 generals. I didnt want to tell you guys last night.

Max: Your transition is not over. Did you request it for advancement again?

Me: Guandi stopped in time.

Max: So whats this now?

Me: I dont want to talk about it. The butler doesnt know.

Max: The right hand man knows.

Me: You know him. He wont spill.

Max: That’s the problem.

Me: Let it rest ok? You recognised the generals anyway.

Max: I cant believe you rather

Max: How long did you cry last night.

Me: .

Max: I will let it pass this time. Since you have your grandma’s beads. That will keep you safe for awhile.

Me: I am always safe. Remember? Both worlds will not let me die. They still need intact body & soul.

Max: .