All fall in, because i am too unwell. Not sick, but too unwell. Till i cant even walk out to buy plain porridge. Thats bad. If only S & i were still friends, the only thing i really missed is him buying food for me whenever i am too sick / unwell to walk out. And our house a distance, i appreciate it more because he has never been fond of me before. More of us arguing from bishan to city hall, and back.
The brothers said my soup is too spicy today. 3rd kor kor said i am feeling spicy. Anyhow scold people and then stormed off – they had to pull me back. I went to sleep and ended up at one of the houses and ordering people around. And they came in to save the day, brought me home, ordered me to shower and eat something.
Am too weak to walk outside, though i crave for that plain porridge outside.
If only i have that friend. Although i probably have, but didnt want to trouble them. ALL LIVE SO FAR AWAY. Khatib my god. Why is it that most friends of mine have parents to fall back on and i fall back on myself. Although the brothers will give me that extra energy to walk out, but, nevermind.
Tomorrow is another challenge to go to work. When is this going to end.
Complains non stop. I know they are worse off than me, sorry not sorry.
The grandpas were in shock earlier LOL. In so much pain and yet i cant help it. They wanted to give me some money to buy cakes that i like but i returned them the money. HOW TO USE HELL MONEY. HOW. Poor souls. Its been a long time since i am this. Hate it when i cant move freely. Even though they serve me but i really just want to have no pain.
Its so bad that i cancelled all appointments. Cant do anything at all. Most friends were concern but cant help, they asked if its something to do with the other side. Its not. Or maybe it is. How do i even describe. I need to head to the temple, but it seems every sunday i am down.
Fucking hate it!!!!!!!!!! Its so painful. Reminds me of that time when i got food poisoning. E had to carry me to the doc, really carry, because i couldnt even walk properly. Memories.
I dont ever regret knowing him but i know for sure, if i didnt do that in the past, i wouldnt even have known him. I know that there are some people that i cant know, or meet, or to even exchange words with, but as long as i make that request, i know the authorities will do something about it, but as usual, there’s always a lead time.
Which brings to the subject of M, i am thankful how we turned out to be. Friends. I didnt have any feelings of him, i did try, but there just isnt. Even if he rose to a president of any companies, hes more of a very close friend than someone i have feelings for. I remembered telling him about it. Hahaha! And he accepted it. I am glad he didnt leave like most guys do. There were alot of times i was unreasonable, he let it pass, yes we quarrelled, but he let it pass anyway.
I think of so many memories when i am unwell. I really need some cake when i am better.
And on another news, yes i am allowed to meet that cannon fairy now. I wanna repeat, blood covers alot of things. Does it matter whether he still follows the forest monk? And the authorities said no. Am i glad? I am more glad that i went ahead with the dare.
It havent healed, it still bleed at times, there and then i felt the pain and felt like a knife is stabbing me.
Mixed blessings 